So, I’m here at the beach on my blissful vacation typing madly away from my perch atop the deck of my in-law’s vacation home. It’s beautiful weather up here in Boston. A charming 80 degrees with an easterly ocean breeze. As I look out at the vast ocean in front of me, I’m reminded of what it means to be a family. I see moms in tankini’s chasing their toddlers; dads tossing footballs along the sand, and lots and lots of wildly manic kids running, chasing, diving, and…what? Oh My God!!! There are kids peeing!
No, this can’t be happening! Ooops! There goes another one – and another! That little girl just squatted in the stagnant sandbar pool! Run! Run moms and dads! Get the heck outta the warm ocean pool! What???
nobody notices? Hmmm, am I just overly observant or just uptight? Maybe a little of both.
If you must know the truth, my girls have been known to make the infamous cold Boston waters a little warmer. In fact, my three year old takes delight in calling attention to it ever time she “goes” in the water. So, we’ve devised two sacred rules that cannot be broken: 1. You can go in the ocean, but not in a stagnant pool of water, and 2. Your mom will ignore you and pretend that you are somebody else’s child.
Despite our agreed upon rules at some point during our trip to the beach, I’ll hear, “Mommy look! LOOK! I pee-peed! I pee-peed!” Naturally, I toss out rule #1 (who cares if its the ocean or a stagnant pool of water anyway! It’s still pee!) and skip right to rule #2. I begin to maneuver to avoid any responsibility for my daughter’s actions. Oh so quickly I move toward the stepford mom playing with her perfect kids on my right, until I’m almost right beside her. It’s then that I hear again, “Mommy! I did it! I pee-peed!” and just as everyone on the beach turns to see who’s unruly hooligan kid it is, I sneak behind stepford mom and – boom- my daughter ends up looking like she belongs to somebody besides me! Presto! I’ve managed to set-up stepford mom and avoid a pee-pee confrontation with my toddler!
God, I love the warm, warm ocean water!
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