Competitive Team Sports: A Powerful Prescription for Growing Self-Confident Girls

July 21, 2010 by Administrator
Filed under Health & Wellbeing

By: Linda Brodsky, MD.

Sunday mornings I play in a friendly tennis league. You come, you play. No tournaments, not too much competition. So, for this week’s first match, I was paired with a 25 year old, newly minted tennis player—a young woman my middle daughter’s age. She told me she had only been playing 6 months. My hidden disappointment of the anticipated mismatch quickly disappeared as she played well enough with such an air of confidence on the court. Enthusiastic, energetic, and confident beyond her present level of skill, she was unfazed by my years of experience and even the very lopsided score. We both had a really good time.

I knew she had to be an athlete. She had that easiness and confidence of movement on the court, even if her swing was not yet in control. I wanted to know more about this young woman. So when we finished, I asked what other sports she did and how she came to take up tennis.

“Well, I swim and was a diver in college. I play volleyball and do yoga. I used to do gymnastics. I am really flexible. My whole family plays tennis and I wanted to play with them, so now I am learning. The tennis club membership was my Christmas present.”
Heidi dispenses hearing aids right now; she used to work in physical therapy. She lives in her own apartment and plans on returning to school for audiology or speech-language pathology. She has a life, she has a plan, she tries new things. I was impressed; I liked.
I asked about her diving as I told her that was one sport I could never do because it scared me.

“It scared me, too,” she laughed. “I would dive off the board and sometimes land smack on my face or back. The double back flip was one that took me a long time to get. I would come home all bruised. But I never really got hurt and went back up there again and had to forget that I was afraid. A few times I competed in Florida. The bruises went away, and they were definitely worth the trip!”

After we parted, I thought about my childhood experiences with sports. In grade school, all the girls “on the block” (our beloved Jackson Place, Bellmore, NY) would get together on spring and summer evenings to organize our kickball games. Every night captains would be chosen, players divided up and we played until the darkness swallowed the ball.

In grade school we learned all about sports. We learned about field hockey while the boys did football. Girls’ basketball was a different game; we could only take three dribbles before we had to pass the ball, so as not to wear ourselves out. The “gym” teacher required us to write all about the games and their rules to the games that we learned to play. Intra-mural and varsity sports were introduced in our early teens. So when it came time for high school, I filled each season with a different sport. And I can proudly say I competed in varsity volleyball at Bryn Mawr College. (I played intramural volleyball as well with our “brothers” at Haverford—my best friends during my college years.)

I loved team sports. The camaraderie and the competition, the opportunity to be a leader and a champion every time you hit the ball, made a goal, blocked a shot. And even when you did or did not do well and your team lost, your team was still there. You encouraged one another; you learned to live for each other’s triumphs and with each other’s defeats. You learned that you were not alone, that life on the field (like life off the field) was not a one woman show. It was great to win, but it was also okay to lose.
These lessons of individual performance in the midst of team work are invaluable in helping to navigate and negotiate a very competitive world. Overcoming fear, working with others through the good and the bad, focusing solely on the task at hand and even occasionally suffering pain, be it physical or emotional, are some of the important lessons learned from competing in team sports. Your daughter does not need to be in fancy leagues or be a top performer. All she needs to do is to find something and participate.

And if team sports aren’t for her, try individual sports such as biking, yoga, or karate, to name just a few. Taking charge of your body, mastering a skill, and competing against yourself to become better and better provide those same invaluable lessons that will carry over into other aspects of her life.

Sports, especially competitive team sports, are healthy ways to build self-esteem and confidence. Help your daughter find one or more that are right for her. She will carry the skills of leadership and teamwork with her always.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. Linda Brodsky is a respected Pediatric surgeon advocate and mentor for the next generation of women doctors. She is an active blogger as part of NPR’s Talking Science blogger team (her section is “Like Mother, Like Doctor”) and on her own blog, The Brodsky Blog (http://thebrodskyblog.com) . On the Brodsky Blog, Dr. Brodsky addresses topics such as gender equity/inequity in health care and the issues faced by women in the medical field.