Choosing the Sex of Your Baby: Exploring Sex Selection and it’s Implications

January 11, 2010 by Elizabeth Donovan, M. A.
Filed under Health & Wellbeing

By: Elizabeth Donovan, M.A.

pregnant-woman

As a mother of three little girls I never considered sex selection. When my first daughter was born – I was over the moon. When my second daughter was born, I was overjoyed my eldest would have a little sister. And when my third daughter was born, my husband and I decided that if we kept going, he’d be severely outnumbered (a little joke we like to use now and then). We had three happy, healthy, beautiful children, we knew when to leave well enough alone.

Yet I would be remiss if I failed to acknowledge that part of me wanted a boy at some point along the way. Though I love my daughters more than words, we are conditioned as a society to want (and in some cases need) a child of each sex. All too often I’ve been asked “Are you going to try for the boy?” And all too often I’ve responded, “No thank you – I’m quite happy with the lovely girls I’ve got.” In fact, I’ve often found myself getting angry at well-intentioned friends and family who insist that my life won’t be complete without a mama’s boy.

Historical Context

In fairness to history and evolution, there is a reason for the desire of families to have an even balance of males and females. Prehistoric cavemen were the hunters and women the gatherers. Boys were desired to help support the family with hard labor and women were expected to nurture it. Throughout history and different cultures there have been different expectations for men and women that spawned a desire to produce both female and male offspring. In some cultures, boys were needed to perform hard labor and girls were needed to cook and raise the children. In England, boys were desired to ensure that the family name was carried on in order to keep property in the family (since women could not be land owners). Girls were the nurturers, caretakers, and needed to produce children and help families grow, thrive, and sustain themselves.

But that was then…this is now. I would like to believe that our society has evolved to the point that girls can do anything boys can do. If we are not so dependent on hunting and gathering or continuing a namesake, then why do we still feel the pressure to reproduce a girl and a boy? Perhaps we are not as evolved as we believe.

The reality for myself and other parents with children of the same sex is far more complicated. As parents we’re supposed to want a boy and a girl. Since our life is thought to be incomplete without the proper balance, as parents of same sex children – we must be depressed, sad, and miserable. In the spirit of that line of thinking, scientists, geneticists, doctors, and even fortune tellers have been trying to develop ways for moms and dads to be able to choose the sex of their child. Yes, I said “choose.” In today’s high-tech society, freedom of choice has taken on a whole new meaning when it comes time to make a baby. For better or for worse, technology can now help parents chose the sex of their unborn baby.

What is sex selection?

Lisa A. Herickhoff, Ph.D., a scientist and expert who worked in the sex-selection industry, sex selection is the process whereby we are able to differentiate X-chromosome bearing sperm (that produces girls) from Y-chromosome bearing sperm (that produces boys). Interestingly, Dr. Herickhoff explains that, “it currently appears that the only difference [between the X and Y chromosome sperm) is in the amount of DNA between the two." Therefore parents considering sex selection, should seek a sex-selection technique that is based on measuring the amount of DNA in the cell," says Dr. Herickhoff, to achieve the desired sex.

Methods of Sex Selection.

NATURAL GENDER SELECTION:

If you are looking for a low-tech way to chose the sex of your child, then there are certainly a myriad of methods available on the market. From how-to books such as the long-standing book by Dr. Landrum Shettles, How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby to the more modern Guarantee the Sex of Your Baby by Robin Weiss, there are plenty of theories on everything from timing to sexual position that claim to 'guarantee' a boy or girl. In truth, book methods are far from 100% accurate, though some parents have had amazing success.

Linda Lundy of Plum Grove, Texas, swears by the book Now You Can Choose by David Michael Rorvik and Landrum B. Shettles she used thirty years ago to have her son. In fact, Lundy was such a believer in what has been deemed "The Shettles Method" that she recommended it friends and family members who also found success. "I mentioned it to my gynecologist, he had used it and also had a boy. I passed the book along to my sister-in-law and she had a boy," says Lundy. "I know the boy formula works."

It's worth noting that though Lundy and her friends found success with this book, not all parents achieve the same desired results. Sex selection books often recommend ways to enhance having a boy or a girl using tools such as basal body temperature charting and sexual position, but unless sperm are selected in a lab, there are no absolute guarantees (and even lab results are not a 100% guarantee).

There are also a variety gender diets (chose a diet high in potassium and sodium for a boy or a diet high in calcium and magnesium for a girl), supplements, and even astrology methods (such as the Chinese Birth Chart) are touted by some as reliable methods. But natural selection methods are not scientifically based and work about 50% of the time, the same odds as if you tried nothing at all. But, if parents want to give it a try, these methods may at least prove to 'spice things up' when it comes time to make a baby!

HIGH-TECH SEX SELECTION METHODS:

• Flow Cytometry Sorting. Developed by Dr. Larry Johnson at the USDA in Beltsville, MD., this scientifically based method uses a dye that binds to sperm DNA in direct proportion to the totally amount of DNA. Remember, the latest technology measures for DNA not just the X or Y chromosone in sperm. Dr. Herickhoff describes the process as, "an X-bearing sperm will have 3% more dye than a Y-bearing sperm. This difference in the amount of dye can be detected by a machine called a flow cytometer. we can sort the cells into three buckets- those with X-chromosomes, those with Y-chromosomes, and those that cannot be differentiated. The sperm of the selected sex are then used to artificially inseminate the female. This method is approximately 90% effective.

• MicroSort MicroSort is a high-tech lab technique that has been in use since 1996, separates the two types of semen found in sperm, X sperm and Y sperm by 'spinning' and sorting them in a lab and then implanting the desired sperm them into a woman. An XSort increases parents chances of conceiving a girl to about 91%, and a YSort boosts the odds of conceiving a boy to about 76%.

• Sperm Spinning. Several different techniques are all referred to as "sperm spinning" because the sperm is spun in a centrifuge as part of the implementation process. Though this method has been used since the 1970's, it's track record is seriously lacking in success. The X/Y sperm ratio typically remains 50/50 after the use of sperm spinning, right along the lines of what your 'natural' odds would be if you did not use sex selection.

Lab-based methods offer parents more certainty in the ability to chose the sex of their child, certainly a plus if parents want to try to ensure they have a specific gender. However, lab procedures can prove to be a financial burden on the average parent. Occasionally one of these procedures is covered by health insurance, but more often than not, it's up to the patient to pay all expenses that can range from hundreds to thousands of dollars per session.

Moral and Ethical Implications.

WORLDWIDE:

According to the Center for Genetics and Society (CGS), sex selection can have a devastating effect on our population, in particular on girls. "In most of the world, it [sex selection] is used to promote the birth of boys, which exacerbates discrimination against girls and women.” The choice of having sons instead of daughters has created lopsided sex ratios in countries such as India and China. CGS also contends that sex selection technologies are largely unregulated in the United States. Countries such as Canada, Germany, and the United Kingdom—prohibit “social” sex selection, which helps to empower female offspring and keep the equilibrium in terms of balancing male and female babies.

While sex ratios currently have not been seriously compromised in the United States, the practice of actively selecting one gender over the other in a lab is a controversial topic. For some parents, the benefits of choosing a specific gender are well worth the time, cost, and inconvenience. “Savior siblings” can provide bone marrow or other transplant tissues to sick older siblings and selecting against embryos with genes correlated with late-onset and non-fatal condition in a specific gender can help parents who have specific genetic defects or concerns in their families.

FAULTY EXPECTATIONS

Others question the very basis on which parents decide to chose a boy or a girl. Is that really a parents right? Should science dictate whether we toss the ‘undesired’ gender to achieve the ‘desired’ one? Does life as we know it teeter on the fact that we are a boy or a girl? For many, such questions are at the heart of the sex selection controversy and are not easily answered.

Marcy Darnovsky, PhD, Associate Executive Director Center for Genetics and Society, expresses concern when it comes to creating a parents ‘desired’ child. “In most parts of the world where sex selection is widely practiced, its aim is preventing the birth of girls. Many Americans, by contrast, want daughters,” she says. “But that doesn’t necessarily mean that sex selection and sexism are unrelated.”

Darnovsky believes that parents who spend time and effort on having a girl may also fall prey to gender stereotyping and unreasonable parental expectations. Parents desire a ‘certain kind’ of girl, putting kids at risk of parental disappointment. “What if there’s a glitch and you get the “wrong” sex?” she asks. Or, “what if she doesn’t meet her parents ‘ideals’ for what a girl should be?”

Darnovsky asserts that sex selection, “moves us toward a designer-baby world in which children – and the rest of us – are engineered and then valued according to someone else’s expectations and financial capacities.” All important lessons that should not be swept under the carpet when parents consider sex selection.

You get what you get and you don’t get upset.

In the end, gender selection may not be completely in the hands of science or technology, but rather, a precise decision by each individual to make a conscious decision about what they want in life and whether it’s worth the cost. I do not take issue with parents who chose the sex of their child, in fact, I am intrigued by the scientific advances in sex selection and the reasons behind the personal choice to use it. Yet I chose to hold on to a different kind of wisdom taught to me by my preschooler:

My eldest daughter was a bright-eyed 3-year-old, attending preschool a couple of mornings a week. I watched mesmerized one day after school as she examined the Dora sticker her teacher had given her at the end of the day. She eyed the sticker top to bottom, trying desperately to decide if it was really the one she wanted. “Mom, my teacher says ‘you get what you get and you don’t get upset’ when she hands out stickers so nobody will fight or ask for a different one.” Then she broke into a little smile, “I wanted the princess sticker ’cause it was so pretty, but I’m alright with the Dora one,” she peeled the back off the sticker and stuck it proudly to her chest. “See mom, this sticker has red in it – my favorite color – so I think I like it even more now.”

There are times in life when we all don’t get exactly what we want, yet it’s all in how we handle it. If we chose to be happy and appreciate those things life has given us, then really – does it matter if you got a boy or a girl? The gift of a child is something that reaches far beyond the borders of gender. If it does matter to parents whether they have a ‘Jr.’ or a “Miss” then it’s important to evaluate why you desire a specific gender. Though there is technology that can help assist with gender selection, there is never a 100% guarantee that you will get exactly what you want. Parents should be prepared for the arrival of either sex and celebrate the miracle of the moment. Besides, even if you get the same gender (remember, I have three girls), there is always something beautiful and unique to love and cherish in each one.

Perhaps Dr. Darnovsky says it best, “The issue raised by sex selection is not primarily one of the rightness or wrongness of parental desires. The preferences of prospective parents are obviously relevant in matters of child-bearing, but so are the well-being of future children and the social consequences of a set of technologies that are certain to be aggressively marketed.” Parents should take the time to consider what is important to you and why – then make the decision to opt for sex selection or to forgo it.