Negotiating Night Terrors

Its 2:00 in the morning when all of the sudden you hear your daughter begin to scream. Panicked, you dart into her room to find her moaning, thrashing, and crying. You try to console her, but nothing seems to work. After a couple hours of total desperation, she falls back asleep in your arms. By the next morning, your child is back to her usual cheerful self, and she remembers nothing about the night before. Welcome to the world of night terrors.

Most children wake up during the night, but are able to put themselves back to sleep without any further issues. However, for around 15% of children, night time brings terrors that include screaming, crying, babbling, sleep walking, and acute anxiety. Terrors are different from nightmares. In the case of nightmares, children completely wake up from it, can talk about it with you, and be calmed by your presence. During a night terror, your daughter is not truly awake (even if her eyes are open) and will not remember the incident the next day. She is very difficult to calm down and can take anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours to do so.

Very little is known about what causes night terrors, but research has found that most children outgrow them and it is not indicative of deeper psychological issues. While there is no cure, if you suspect your toddler is having a night terror, there are things you can do to help her recover and get back to sleep.

Night Time Negotiations:

• Stay calm. It can be terrifying for a parent to watch their child loose control. But try to keep your cool. Talk to her in a calm, reassuring voice. Do not try to hold her or approach her right away. Children having a night terror are NOT awake and cannot be held accountable for their actions. Make sure she isn’t hurting herself, and sit near with her. Keep calmly talking to her until the terror passes.

• Stick to a routine. Keep your daughter on a regular bedtime routine which includes things like a bath, story time, and consistent bedtime. Giving her consistency and predictability with her bedtime routine can help ward off night terrors.

• Sleep matters. Be sure she is getting enough sleep. An over-tired toddler is more prone to have night terrors than one that is well rested.

• Predict the terrors. Some children have terrors around the same time each night. If you notice a pattern, try to wake her 20 minutes before it happens, then put her back to bed. Sometimes this can decrease night terrors.

• Safety proof her room. If you know she has frequent terrors, be sure to remove any items that could be potentially harmful during a terror. You should also be in the room with her when she has one to make sure she doesn’t accidentally harm herself. Do not leave her unattended or alone until she is calm and has fallen back to sleep.

• When it’s time to call the doctor. If night terrors continue or you feel there may be something else going on with your daughter, then it’s time for a trip to the doc. Parents should always seek medical advice if you have questions that persist.

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