How to Help Your Daughter Build Back-to-School Confidence

September 5, 2009 by Administrator
Filed under Education

By: Mary Jo Rapini, M.Ed., LPC

Smiling Girl On Orange

Back-to-school ads are everywhere. We are preparing our teens for college entrance exams. We are talking to them about their future.

Where should they go to college? What do they want to study?

These are important questions, but don’t forget to talk to your children about confidence. Many parents believe confidence is something with which you are born. You either have it or you don’t.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Confidence is a skill you can teach your child in just a few weeks.

Tips For Teens:

Teens starting this exercise with low self-esteem should remember to act like they are confident, and eventually they will feel confident. Here are six things to practice:

• Make eye contact with others. Practice by talking to the mirror and looking at yourself.

• Stand up straight and you’ll project confidence. Watch TV news anchors — they always have perfect posture.

• Be willing to put yourself out there to meet new people. This may be difficult for shy teens, but remember, you are just acting.

• Smile. Not only will you disarm others, but it’s an instant mood booster for you.

• Stay in control by preparing for events ahead of time. That big test coming up? Schedule study time. If you break down big projects into small steps, you can handle the biggest projects in a timely manner.

• Don’t be a doormat. Don’t go along with stupid, risk-taking stunts to be accepted by others.

Tips For Parents:

• Every teen wants to be popular. Popularity can make most teens feel insecure and doubt themselves. Have an honest talk with your teens about how they view themselves, what they expect from friends and what they want their school years to mean to them.

• Volunteering is a wonderful way to help your teen learn confidence-building skills. There are churches, assisted-living homes, day cares, parks and nonprofits looking for help.

• Get your child involved in extracurricular activities. Nothing builds confidence better than having your child surrounded by other people with the same interests.

• Go over your teens’ homework plans for the fall. They may act like they hate it, but teens need their parents’ involvement to be academically successful.

• Your child will feel more confident if he or she looks the part. Look at magazines together and decide which clothes will flatter your teen’s body. Help your teen understand the role of clothes in a first impression; how your teens dress will affect how others treat them.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a featured on TLC’s series, “Big Medicine”. Her monthly column, “NOTE TO SELF”, appears the third Monday of each month in the Health Section of the Houston Chronicle. She is also contributing three relationship tips a week via the Chronicle’s blog – http://blogs.chron.com/momhouston/. Rapini also writes the “Ask Mary Jo” column for Houston Family Magazine. She is also a contributing expert for Seventeen magazine (referenced twice in their 9/08 issue). She was quoted in an article about body image in First magazine (7/21/08).

Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever.

To read more about Mary Jo Rapini or purchase her books, visit Maryjorapini.com.

*Article courtesy of Mary Jo Rapini and the Houston Chronicle.